How to Write: Primal Hunter

Second installment in a series of analysis on how the narrative structure of the most popular web serials and how to replicate it.

If you find typos, gross mistakes, or anything that should be disputed, please leave a comment.

Biased Self-Assessment

While analyzing other serials, like Jackal Among Snakes or Millennial Mage, I felt my current understanding was lacking. In the case of my evaluation of Primal Hunter, I’m fairly confident in my opinions. That’s my premise. Keep in mind that the series is currently 500+ chapters and we’ll be just covering the first 12. The analysis here applies to the first volume. I can’t speak for the other volumes.

How to Write, Standard, and Replicated Disclaimer

The aim of this series is to emulate what the best-selling stories did best.

Breaking down the individual elements that make up a story can be useful in understanding how these elements work together to create an immersive experience. In this series, I will be examining the individual narratives of the most successful web novels in order to better understand how they work.

Do understand that to the extent that a web novel is successful, it is because it is able to create an immersive experience that draws the reader in. This is accomplished in part by the author’s mastery of their chosen medium and in part by their understanding of what makes a story work. In layman's terms, taste and market play a great role in the actual success - nonetheless, this is a great opportunity to learn from the best.

This series is not intended to suck anyone’s dick nor to put anyone on a pyre: it is not a review. I started this on my own to explore the most successful mechanics in the most successful serials. I won’t go deep into the bad parts because this series is about what makes something successful. I have the exact opposite as well, which is closer to a retrospective analysis - sometimes nastily known as post-mortem - of failed/stunted-growth novels [, including my novels], but that’s still private, and given the very inflammatory nature of it and the inconsiderate hate I’d get from it, I’ll most likely keep it like that.

If you take issues with what I write in terms of its veracity, you are welcome to express your own opinion. I take particular interest in 1-on-1 conversations with other authors - but I’m generally a bit shy when it comes to asking for a voice chat. If you are an author and you want to ask for a voice chat with me, just shoot an email at jacopofowl@gmail.com

If you take issues with the series because you are a fan/hater of the analyzed novel and/or because of politics, don’t waste my time.

Introduction

Primal Hunter's success underwent three phases.

Courtesy of Graphtreon, mid-November 2022 data

On September 19th, 2020, the first chapter was released on RoyalRoad. Primal Hunter swiftly accumulated followers even before hitting the defunct Trending list. Then, it stagnated up until March 8, 2022; that’s the day Primal Hunter took Kindle Unlimited by storm.

Primal Hunter, alongside He Who Fights with Monsters and Defiance of the Fall, is one of the defining web serials that has dominated the post-Azarinth-Healer release.

It is also the most controversial of the three, having gathered several scathing remarks about it. I won’t cover those in this article, however.

As of November 15th, its Patreon revenue sits at a whopping $32,347, making it a veritable behemoth of the LitRPG scene. As you’ll read in the Consistency section, Zogarth is not only one of the biggest earners, but one of the most consistent and fast writers in terms of story and releases.

It goes without saying that Zogarth must have done several things right to achieve this success. In fact, together with the novels I mentioned above, Primal Hunter effectively represents a blueprint on how to write LitRPG.

And so, let’s go examine what in the first twelve chapters made it so successful!

High-Level Analysis

While in the case of Paranoid Mage is better to look at every chapter because of their uniqueness, Primal Hunter is more redundant in its structure; therefore, we’ll benefit more from going topic-by-topic.

We'll start by examining what I called in a previous article the 'Three Tenets of Success for a Web Serial.'

Superimposition of Animus

If this is your first time reading my articles, you will be unfamiliar with the term 'Superimposition of Animus.' Don't worry, I made it up. You can find my definition right here.

If you are too lazy to go read that before reading this article, let's just say that Animus is a Jungian term to define the unconscious masculine side of a woman. Nonetheless, I use the term to refer to the repressed masculine traits in men. Superimposition means overlapping the Main Character's traits with the [mostly repressed] reader's desires.

If you see someone treating the main character unjustly, you flare up because, on a level, you feel the same injustice carried over to you. This is an example of 'negative' superimposition, but it can easily take the form of 'positive' overlapping. You can think of the negative Superimposition of Animus as the underdog archetype and the more positive one as the hero archetype. Anger and Kindness, basically.

Primal Hunter presents mostly a negative Superimposition of Animus. The positive version of it takes the form of Jake’s survivability competence in Primal Hunter. Therefore, we could sum them up, respectively, as 'The World is Unjust' and 'I'm the Only Competent Person in This Room.’

I know that making up your own terminology is mighty cringe, but it helps while defining complex emotions into easier-to-grasp metaphors. You can rename them and call them whatever you want.

Superimposition of Animus #1 - The World is Unjust

The World is Unjust (TWU) is something that you might describe as throwing someone a pity party. In its essence, you are putting the main character in a sympathetic position. Usually, there are people abusing or who have abused him, and that makes you, the reader, flare up.

Now, the series is called 'how to write,' right? So, let's keep something in mind. This is the most dangerous trigger you can pull in your own novel when it comes to LitRPGs. In other genres, people might shrug it off, but in LitRPGs, you expect a strong masculine character, who is usually overpowered.

And when you expect a strong masculine character, you certainly don't want to see the main character being abused too much. If you have ever read any Chinese web novel, you might recognize this characteristic in how every main character is the underdog in every situation. However, half the time, he's the underdog just because the others don't know how strong he is and that sets them up for a beating; this is the proverbial 'not recognizing Mount Tai when it's in front of your eyes.' In short, in those cases, the underdog is actually overpowered.

So, be careful when you write about the world around your main character being unjust. Usually, even when the main character is beaten up unjustly, there's immediately after a power-up or training-montage-like arc.

Lookie look, the main character will stumble on some heaven-defying treasure and come back to smash the face of his enemies.

Now, why is so important to know this while we analyze Primal Hunter?

Zogarth mixes two things: pity and competence.

When I first started reading and studying Primal Hunter, I focused too much on the aspect of TWU. And even though I did pick up on the 'I'm the Only Competent Person in This Room,' my take on it wasn't strong enough to balance it. And so, when I wrote I Wear It Black, among all the other things I crafted inside the story, I tried emulating this structure. However, it was too skewed on TWU's aspect. And so, people got issues saying that the main character is a wuss because he did not show enough competence to balance his act. I have already talked about this in our previous article.

Anyway, I don't want people to repeat the same mistake. Be careful how you dish out this trope and make it so that it's as balanced as possible.

To reproduce a similar structure, you'll want to see a competent main character more than a pitiable one. Readers often do not appreciate the 'weakling' status. Or if they do, it's only because there's the promise of future competence already instilled inside the story.

Let’s now examine most of the examples of TWU in Primal Hunter. Keep in mind that they are peppered throughout the story’s first 12 chapters instead of being clearly separated as it happens in Paranoid Mage.

I’d also recommend reading those chapters to have the necessary context to understand the following analysis.

Chapter 1

As he finished his thoughts, his supervisor, Jacob, walked over with a big smile on his face."Hey there, buddy! Me and the others are heading out for lunch. You wanna come?"
"Eh, sure, sounds good," Jake replied tentatively.
He liked Jacob. Jacob was the kind of guy that people would call a born leader. Excellent social skills, with an affinity for reading people and making them feel comfortable around him. He was one of the few people that Jake called a friend.

Even though Zogarth initially provides a positive characterization of Jacob, it's not after too long in the very first chapter that we are handed a more envy-prone description. In a way, even though it's subtle, even in this paragraph, you see the juxtaposition of Jake's weaknesses and Jacob's strengths in regard to their social status. Therefore, this is the very first hint of TWU.

In fact, it sounds like Jacob is either talking to a dog or a child.

...

All he knew was that Jacob’s family was filthy rich. It was quite honestly a miracle that Jacob hadn’t turned out to be an entitled brat instead of the man he was today. He was popular in the office by every metric, especially with a certain clientele.
His handsome looks, tall stature, and overall charm certainly did him no harm when it came to the women in the office. His hair always seemed to sit with impossible perfection, his suit was always worn perfectly, and what seemed like an eternally relaxed smile adorned his face.

Then, we have a grocery list of the perfect main character—only, it’s not the main character, but the most likable co-worker. As you can see, we are front-loaded with unjustness.

…

Caroline was a coworker from the human resources department who shared their office space with Jake’s department. She was a year younger than him, slim, blonde, and quite frankly, everything that Jake would refer to as “his type.”
He was aware that this was likely just due to her being one of the only women around his age that he interacted with regularly. Just two people of the opposite sex in close proximity. Which was one of the reasons he never acted on the emotion. Along with quite a few others. He wasn’t really the romantic type, and his prior experience in romance hadn’t exactly panned out. Well, he thought, her cheating on me with my best friend does count as “not panning out,” right?

Now, this is just Chapter 1, and we could already go down a deep Freudian hole. We’ll refrain from doing so for the very moment. But let’s dissect this paragraph.

Zogarth tells us that Jake is interested in Caroline most likely because of ‘[…] her being one of the only women around his age that he interacted with regularly.’ What this move does is take value away from Caroline as a potential romantic interest.

It’s not much TWU as much as simply taking down a notch for their potential relationship. In fact, by saying that he’s just casually interested in her, the romantic stakes have been greatly lowered. Now, we all know that most of RoyalRoad and a good chunk of Kindle is allergic to romantic relationships. So, this is an extremely good move, calculated or not.

Then, we have one of many pity parties that Zogarth throws Jake as he mentions that ‘[…] his prior experience in romance hadn’t exactly panned out. Well, he thought, her cheating on me with my best friend does count as “not panning out.”

Slowly but surely, we are pulled into Jake’s universe. It’s all gloomy, and it sucks so far. But remember, we are looking at it through the lens of injustice at the moment.

Chapter 3

"First of all, we will have to locate water, food, and shelter,” Jacob said. [...]
The small speech was a bit superfluous, considering they had already gone over those points, but it seemed to get everyone on the same track. Jake was once again reminded of why Jacob was the youngest department chief their company had ever had. He had achieved this, relying solely on his competency and charisma, plus a bit of nepotism, but that was almost expected in the job market in this day and age, or, well, before this day and age.

Envy slowly transforms into partially discrediting what Jacob does. Now, we see envy slowly turning to animosity.

It was a pretty smooth transition from the first chapter, where we stand to hear more praise of Jacob than Jake.

If we were to reproduce something like this, you would need to slowly turn the tables on the perception of the characters of your book. In a way, you could consider Jacob the very first villain for about ten chapters. It’s not a villain in the traditional sense, obviously, but a proper antagonist that Jake, almost biblically, has to surpass.

---

HEAR FROM OUR SPONSORS: MYSELF! WHAT A SHAMELESS PLUG!

Are you looking for a great decent book to read? Look no further than I Wear It Black! This book is perfect for anyone who loves crunchy LitRPG books. I created a narrative experience that would satisfy my thirst for a hard System and mounted combat! If you want to support the free development of these articles—and consequently have me improve as a writer, consider buying even my less-than-perfect little book, I Wear It Black!

I hope you have a good time with the rest of this post!

---

I mean, the nominal dichotomy Jake-Jacob is pretty much in our faces since the beginning. It’s hard to imagine it wasn’t done on purpose. And now, we slowly see the ‘competence’ shifting from Jacob being the one able to navigate the social landscape of the civilized world to Jake being the one able to navigate this veritable ‘return to monke[y].’

The risk in attempting something like this the way Zogarth did is being called out for being shallow. Why? It’s hard to set up these situations without relying a lot on telling. And if you are showing it, you might risk being too slow on the catch-up.

The best advice I have for you is to avoid spending too much time ‘telling’ in these cases; focus on the ‘showing.’ You don’t need to highlight every single detail of this kind of interaction. Zogarth didn’t, even though he was very heavy-handed with the telling in his first ten chapters. A switch to a more showing attitude could temper the angry reactions of people saying you are trying to lead them by their nose into thinking this or that.

So, in essence, try avoiding being ‘artificial’ when you are pushing this kind of narrative. If you want your own Jake/Jacob and want to switch, have the surroundings be more challenging in the first chapters. Maybe you are writing about two College students, and one has always been better than the other at x—lookie look, now you switch the tables on them, and the previously sour dynamics turn in favor of your main character because now the competence required is y.

This is something you see often with the Nerd/Jock duality when the muscular types need to ‘hack’ something, and suddenly the competence of the main character comes out.

Chapter 5

Small summary:

Jake fired some arrows into a bush. He angered a big pig. The big pig mauled the legs of a woman in their group. Now, Jacob is angry with Jake, blaming him for the woman’s legs.

Jacob’s face got visibly redder as he kept barraging Jake. He also grew louder and, of course, got the attention of the others. Everyone was staring at them by now, and, looking around, Jake spotted open hostility in some of their eyes, with others looking down at the ground. Bertram and Casper both just looked sad, while Ahmed didn’t have any emotions visible on his face. However, he didn’t seem inclined to voice his opinions.
Jake had never seen Jacob this angry before. Right, what was I thinking? He’d just seen a reflection of something. In hindsight, it was the eye of the small boar. Something in his head had told him to shoot. It was just… instinct.
Indeed, he hadn’t been thinking. From the beginning, he hadn't. Except for his internal pondering, when it came to any kind of combat or tense situation for that matter, he gladly ran on autopilot. He allowed his instincts to take over and intuition to be his guiding light when making split-second decisions.
"I… I am sorry, I was just… I don’t know…" Jake couldn't properly express himself, his incompetence in social situations once again evident. On the one hand, he did feel bad about the outcome of the situation, but he didn’t truly think it was his fault.
[...]
"You don’t know?” Jacob said. “Well, you should know! Just think, for god’s sake! We are humans, not beasts who attack anything we see. Think about the consequences. We are a group. A team. What would have happened if we hadn’t been here? What if you had been alone?" Jacob got more and more aggrieved with Jake's passive demeanor and lack of feedback to his critique. Not due to Jake not taking it to heart, but because he simply had no idea how to respond.
[...]
The arrows he’d fired into the beast had done more than enough damage to make it bleed to death eventually. Toward the end, more than fifty arrows had penetrated it, and even if he had run out, he could’ve started conjuring more. Ultimately, the boar would’ve been forced to leave or stay below the tree and wait for him to keep shooting. And judging by the behavior of the thing, it likely would have stayed until it succumbed.

Most of this dynamic can be summarized in what I pointed out just above. We are in a different environment, but people have not yet realized that Jake is the one competent in this one, not Jacob.

Throughout the text, we see the ‘primal’ instincts that Jake has and how they guided his actions. ‘Something in his head had told him to shoot. It was just… instinct.
Indeed, he hadn’t been thinking. From the beginning, he hadn't.’

Now, though, the conflict created between the two characters is pure literary gold. It’s just perfect. Is it good to look at? Absolutely not. But it’s fascinating how masterfully Zogarth manages to drive the trainwreck of Jake/Jacob's relationship, parading it in front of our eyes. Seeing relationships between characters falling out is a good driving force for the story. And Zogarth is like one of the Pakistani guys breaking a huge boulder with small iron wedges in this case. In the same way, I don’t really like these two characters, you might not appreciate the personalities, but narratively speaking, it’s really well executed.

If you want to learn from this, the best lesson you can find is how the progression reached its first climax in five chapters. Considering that Chapter 2 is a bluebox-fest, this actually happened in around 8000 words.

So, this is where TWU peaks, in a way. This is the great injustice that Jake is subject to. Now, we’ll see the group slowly realizing that they are in a wild world and that the rules of the game have changed. That will reach its apex when Jake kills the people at night, saving the group from being hunted like little, fluffy lambs.

Chapter 7

In university, he had purposefully worked on improving his social skills and actively aimed to take part in gatherings and such. While he never got completely comfortable doing it, it improved his self-confidence tremendously during those years. Getting a girlfriend and a few close friends did even more for that confidence to develop. All until it was brought down the day he walked in on his girlfriend and his supposed best friend. Apparently, it had been an open secret in their little group. Open to everyone but Jake.
All the work and development he had gone through had been for naught, and his self-confidence and self-worth were tossed in the gutter. His girlfriend had claimed it was just “having fun” and that it was nothing serious, while his so-called best friend had seemed to think it was no big deal at all, and that he just had to “stop being a pussy about it.” This was a sentiment apparently shared by everyone else in their little university group. Or maybe they’d just feared social excommunication from the group if they spoke up.
This event had led to Jake returning to his old, introverted ways. He’d studied, done archery, played games, watched TV, and gone to classes. A good day was one where he hadn’t spoken a single word to anyone but his parents when they called, asking how he was doing.

It’s easy to say that this part could have been written in a better way. I’m surprised that the editing process let this through, honestly. As for the why, it’s because a flashback with this exact scene would have punched really hard. Instead, Zogarth chose to ‘tell’ us about it, probably not exerting half of the strength it could have had. It was also mentioned in previous chapters.

Still, you can see TWU in all its glory. Zogarth has thrown several pity parties for Jake. Since this chapter is still up on RoyalRoad, let me get you a recounting of how people reacted.

(This down here is a thread)

Mynthio2 years ago

The wall of text about how introverted Jake is and the history of it is both boring and seems completely unnecessary as you already mentioned how he split up with the girlfriend and I fail to see how the rest is relevant. This seems like an obvious case of telling to much instead of showing as his introverted behaviour doesn't need to be justified. +5 Rep

Zogarth2 years ago

While I do agree it's perhaps a bit too much, I quite honestly feel like it isn't that misplaced. It also isn't very long and without saying too much then some of the information in there that will be relevant later. I may trim it down a bit in places, but I don't think it all should be removed. I can already say that in the first draft there was entire chapters like that. Chapter 2 was originally three full chapters of pure exposition...

TelRob2 years ago

You have a problem with telling us what is happening instead of showing us. During the entire conversation with caroline we didn't really hear her say anything. You could have written 'Jake told caroline about his life and she listened' and the only thing missing there is the exposition. Use conversations to give information but actually have them talk instead of telling us that they talked. +11 Rep

Bonus comment:

TagDaReaper21 months ago

His romantic interest in Caroline is ruining the story.

Now, ignoring how readers hate romantic relationships on RR, it’s interesting to focus on what happened in this part.

Was it in any way important? Should Zogarth have cut it off the story?

Well, redundancy can help if there’s a reason for it. I have read 60 chapters of Primal Hunter, and I don’t really remember this part being particularly important down the road, if not perhaps much farther down.

My very personal opinion about this is the following: if you do something like this in your own novel, especially now that RR’s standards are even more nitpicky, the grenade might explode in your hand before you throw it at the readers.

Focusing on the action and the relatively fast pace of the story brought Zogarth more success than these seemingly random pieces of exposition.

…

Him liking Jacob and Caroline was most likely because they were two of the only people outside of his family that he felt comfortable around. Because of his welcoming nature and open demeanor, Jacob allowed pretty much anyone to feel good about themselves. Caroline, on the other hand… He couldn't put his finger on why he liked her. He just did. Ah, who was he kidding? He just found her physically attractive, and that was about it. He’d barely known the gal before the system.

I just want to reiterate the point I made above about taking value away from the potential romantic relationship. Given TagDaReaper21’s opinion, you can easily see why this is actually a good move, market-wise.

Chapter 11

At this point, Richard directly turned to Caroline, who stood at the back, and interrupted Jacob. "Young lady, you would not happen to be a healer, would you? It would be greatly appreciated if you came with us."
Caroline looked shocked and confused, but didn’t manage to say anything before Richard turned back to Jacob and the rest of them.
"Your colleagues don’t have to come, you know? They can, but you could also go with us alone—safety in numbers and all that. I can promise you an appropriate position in our group, and that we will do anything we can to keep you safe. There will, of course, also be levels aplenty. If you just come with us, I am sure we can solve this amicably."Even Jake, with his horrendous social skills, could interpret the undertone in that one.

The ‘bad guy’ swoops in to abduct the low-value romantic interest and healer of the group.

The way this chapter was set up has to be analyzed because it came after the ‘slaughter’ perpetrated by Jake the night before. So, you have to consider that now readers have finally seen Jake’s redemption in terms of competence, and then boom, the guy comes in trying to bully his group. This is a ‘he has eyes but doesn’t recognize Mount Tai’ kind of situation right there.

As for our How to Write segment, I’ll tell you how to replicate and what could have been done differently. So, first of all, giving Jake the bloodline was excellent. However, I would have given him a short-range ability to let readers think that Jake might have used the ability at any moment to kill the douche. It’s sort of one of these Rambo moments where you expect Rambo to, well, go full-Rambo on some assholes, but instead, it takes a second, and the narrative lets some frustration build up. Do that, create the expectation that Jake is going to kill him, have him walk back, then, kill the archers to release the frustration. That’s what I’d have said if I had been the editor of the novel.

When you want to replicate this, there are two things you need to look out for:

1. Your MC is a wuss: there’s nothing you can do if your main character is weak. There has to be a valve to let the frustration the readers are building up ready to be opened somewhere. Whether it’s an ancient treasure that he has to finish unlocking, some ability he has yet to master, whatever, really. But you do need the promise of competence—you need to let your readers think that there’s going to be an underdog situation or just straight-up awesomeness. If you don’t do that, you are effectively cuckolding your main character because… I don’t know. So, instill the promise of strength, then have some bullying happen.

2. Your MC never goes ape: this is not The Solitude of Prime Numbers. We are writing web serials, ok? This is not a treaty on how to be a loser. This is an epic power fantasy where numbers go BRRR and blood goes SPLLLLAT. Choose the moments to release the frustrations. Paranoid Mage builds them in a couple of chapters, and then Callum goes ape on the vampires. Jake has been told a bunch of times he is a chimp but then saves the entire camp by brutally murdering all the attackers. Do not postpone the ape moments for too long. You need them.

Superimposition of Animus #2 - I'm the Only Competent Person in this Room

I’ll be glossing over some of the more subtle jabs at other people that are present in the first chapter to focus on the Tutorial. Mind you, some of the setups were good, and if you want to dig deeper, I recommend you take a highlighter and print out the first ten chapters of Primal Hunter.

Chapter 4

"… I'm just saying, maybe they are closer to ferrets than badgers!"
"I'm not saying they are not slightly ferret-like; I'm saying that you're confusing ferrets and weasels!"Jake finally zoned back into the conversation, hearing Dennis, the light warrior of their little group, and Lina, one of the casters, arguing about something pointless. Not exactly surprising.

This is one of the many instances of Jake’s colleagues wasting their breath with stupid arguments. I’m the Only Competent Person in this Room (OCP) is the bread and butter of many web novels. Callum, in Paranoid Mage, follows a slightly similar pattern—all mages are somehow ignorant of modern-day society, and that means he gets to exploit his earthly knowledge to become a super powerful person. It’s just very convenient that no mage ever thought of studying the mundane world to get better at what they do, right? Especially… healers?

While InadvisablyCompelled takes a less in-your-face approach, Zogarth just goes for it with several redundant examples.

Would the novel fare as well without the redundancy of his idiot teammates saying stupid stuff? Maybe? The problem is not whether this is bad or not, but if the author can pull good content out of his hat and fill up the word count for the chapter. See, there might moments when you are just tired, and you need to get to the end of the chapter. Redundancy is not perfect, but it does bring the bread home. Plus, Kindle Unlimited pays you for pages read. If you can pad your novel without hurting the overall quality, go for it. Trim it down for a paperback, though.

Plus, what’s the alternative? Speed up the action?

Let me tell you something, one thing that other authors could learn from Zogarth is how he artificially slows the pace through the use of LitRPG fluff and redundancy. Sure, it’s not glamorous, but this is possibly the very first story he ever wrote in English. And considering the outstanding results he achieved, that’s nothing to scoff at.

…

"Guys, I just tried to use Identify on one of them, and it was level 3. I couldn't see the name, though."
"Oh, great initiative! Why didn’t I think of that!" Jacob cheered and patted Theodore on his back. Turning to Jake, he asked, "Hey, Jake, do you have any thoughts on what to do?"
"No, but I also tried identifying them. Three of them are level 3, and one of them is 4.” Jake had never done well in big groups like this, especially when all nine of the others turned his way. Seriously, he just hoped for the useless chatter to stop and the fighting to begin.
They were ten versus four. They had the jump. Every advantage was theirs, so this posturing felt… pointless."Okay, then, it seems like fighting them is the decision. Now for our tactical approach…"

The first twelve chapters are a mix of pity parties and OCP moments. You get to see Jake being one step ahead of everyone else because he’s in his natural environment. Readers love that. Readers love when the main character is extremely competent at something.

How to Write Competency? Look at Release That Witch. That’s the biggest example of ‘I know more than you, and that’s going to give me a massive advantage.’ Roland, in Release That Witch, brings guns to a medieval society. He also brings a better set of morals and ethics. But the fact that you get to see an engineer use their competencies to triumph in a harsh environment awakens a deep part of our psyche that prompts us to follow those who are most competent. Have you ever heard a dating guru talk about how men who display self-confidence and are good at something get more women? The research around the topic so far points out that, yes, competent people are generally more attractive than incompetent people to both sexes.

I engineered the term ‘superimposition of animus’ because the readers and the main characters have to have their consciousness merged to create a truly powerful book. As an author, you effectively operate a transplant, the creation of a tether between the main character and the reader; now, the stronger this tether, the stronger your book will be.

Competence Porn

We just said that a book’s strength comes from the author’s ability to make the reader feel as if they are the main character. The more you can get the reader to feel like they are in the shoes of the main character, the more engaged they will be with the story.

One of the most important aspects of this is what is known as ‘competence porn.’

Competence porn is when the main character is extremely competent at something. This could be anything from being a skilled reincarnated fighter to being, as in Release that Witch, an engineer in medieval times.

The reason why competence porn is so important is that it allows the reader to vicariously experience the thrill of being competent.

Think of lawyers’ tv shows. They are always filled with competence porn. The reason why they are so popular is that viewers get to watch people who are extremely competent at their job. They get to see the main character overcome all sorts of obstacles and be really good at what they do. Competence porn is one of the most important things you can include in your story if you want the reader to feel like they are the main character.

Competence porn allows us to experience the joy of being competent. It is a way for us to feel good about ourselves through the achievements of the main character. We get to see them think their way out of difficult situations and come up with creative solutions. This is another way that we can vicariously experience the thrill of being competent.

So, if you want to use that, you can either have a genius main character, or someone who is put in a situation where the environment is not at the same level as your protagonist.

The best way to write competence porn is to make sure that the main character is always one step ahead of the reader thanks to some technical knowledge.

And trust me, you can make anything sound competent. But we’ll research this deeper in separate articles.

…

They easily dismissed Dennis with his throwing daggers, having no faith in his accuracy at thirty meters, or even ten for that matter, assuming he could even throw them that far. This left Jake and Casper. And as for Casper… The first time he had ever held a bow in his life was earlier that same day when he got it from choosing the Archer class.
"So, Jake, you got confidence to hit one from here?" Jacob inquired, seemingly not holding much faith in the plan they had spent the last ten or so minutes making. That the planning had been a waste, Jake agreed on. The beasts would already be dead if it was up to him.
[...]
For the first time today, something felt right. The morning routine, work, the introduction, and everything else was just… wrong. But at this one moment, as he held the bow, everything felt like it was as it should be. He smiled, took aim, and shot the arrow. Before even seeing the result, he had already taken out another arrow, preparing to shoot once again in one fluid motion.

Yep, competence porn.

Chapter 5

As they kept walking, Jake quickly ended up at the front, walking beside Bertram. Bertram seemed to hesitate about something, but eventually opened his mouth.
"Jake… were you in the military or something? Or maybe you went hunting from time to time?"
Jake was a bit taken aback, not expecting that kind of question. "No to both. But I did a lot of archery when I was younger, and still practice when I visit the old folks back home. Why are you asking?"
Jake was honestly confused. If he had to say so himself, he did decently in the last fight, but that was it.
"I just thought you handled yourself so well back there, nothing more," Bertram said, not pressing further, though he didn’t seem like the answer satisfied him whatsoever.

Primal Hunter balances the pity parties and the OCP energy incredibly well. As you would expect from reality, some people in the group actually recognize immediately that Jake is better than your average Joe. They are the author’s bat signal to the readers saying that, yes, you are not the only one noticing how awesome Jake is going to be in this apocalyptic scenario.

Chapter 6

"I did what I deemed best, and I do stand behind the decision to kill the small boar. Even if it had been another human, trusting anyone not from our team is a horrible idea. The tutorial actively encourages us to kill each other. Don’t forget that.”
As he spoke, he found confidence he hadn’t quite known he had.
"Jacob, this new reality of ours is one where magic exists. Joanna is hurt, but she isn't in danger. She lost a leg, but who is to say that cannot be healed? With her improved physique, she should be fine soon, and maybe we can even attempt to make a wooden leg or something for her. Or we can just have her guard our camp since she can cast magic. This isn't our old world anymore. People die. I would count us lucky to not have lost anyone yet. Seriously, look at the tutorial panel, everyone."The final part of his sentence, spoken loudly, addressed everyone.

Reality is settling in for the group. And guess what? Jake is presented to us as an instinctual person, but this is arguably the most rational argument that could have been made in this case.

What is going to mess up many writers is not following the steps of the big LitRPG writers as much as taking the wrong turns at the same crossroads. And so, consider what Jake could have done differently here. Zogarth might have tried to make Jake more ‘instinctual’ and more ‘primal,’ right? Think about it. If you open a book about writing, you’ll see that the first thing you should give your main character is a weakness, and that said main character should embark on a quest to overcome that weakness.

Many take those words and convert them into ‘I should make my character a whiny, obnoxious person.’ Or, simply put, someone who’s extremely flawed.

And not only do readers hate incompetence but most people are saturated with stupid characters from normal books and their real life. If Jake had gone Ooga-Booga here with a stupid reaction, readers would have probably hated that. Instead - and let me repeat this very clearly - even though he is supposed to be the PRIMAL hunter, he still decides to make a rational argument.

If you are into outlining books, be extremely wary of making your character a whiny cardboard just because you are following your own notes.

Chapter 8

"What… what happened?" Jacob stammered, clearly disturbed by the carnage.
A smiling Jake turned to him, still savoring the euphoric feeling he was currently experiencing. His smile grew even larger as he answered.
"I won."

Two questions. One, how do you pronounce GIF? Two, do you have moments such as this one in your book?

Look, Royal Road and Kindle have two different audiences. Kindle people tend to look more for awesome main characters. But, as a general rule, everyone loves themselves the cool moment when the car explodes behind you, and you walk in slow motion away from the scene.

That’s the kind of thing you should engineer for your novel after a great battle. Put some cool lines in your book, even if they are cheesy.

Chapter 9

Among the new arrivals, Caroline looked at Jake with a mix of concern and fear.
"Are you hurt? There is so much blood…" she said in a quiet voice. She looked pale as she stared at the image of Jake standing beside a man full of arrows, the blood gleaming as it reflected the moonlight.
"I’m good. None of it is mine." Jake said this casually, with a light smile. He was hoping to finish up any potential conversations so he could move on to more important things. He had gotten several system notifications that he was more than eager to get to.
"Oh… okay," she answered tentatively.
Caroline didn’t seem inclined to ask any more questions, while Jacob looked like he had something to say, but chose not to.

More cool, slightly cheesy lines.

Chapter 10

He remembered one of his professors describing him as “driven” and “ambitious.” Jake wasn’t sure if he agreed with either of those, but he did enjoy picking hard fights and coming out on top. What people misunderstood, though, was that it wasn’t because of the reward from the challenge. He did it for the challenge itself. The outcome wasn't necessarily relevant.

More cheesiness.

…

A single person who had fought just a little during the tutorial would be able to wipe them out easily in just a few days if they didn’t gain any Strength. A random beast could come upon them and kill them too. Jake did not like to have the thought, but he was confident that the current him could take down all of them singlehandedly in an ambush, just picking them off one by one with arrows from a distance.

Lots of boasting.

…

He finally snapped as he started speaking in a voice far louder than any one of them was used to, using enough curse words that it would demand a call from HR.
"Wake the fuck up, people! This entire fucking tutorial is focused on killing! Oh, and it is called a bloody TUTORIAL! As in TRAINING! What do you people think it’s a tutorial for? A nice corporate office job? Or, I don’t know, maybe somewhere even more fucked up than this place? What do you guys think is more probable? The world has changed, and you all need to get your asses moving and adapt if you want to survive."

We are ten chapters in. Jake has snapped.

But what’s really happening is that Jake is voicing out the thoughts of every reader in the audience. He has just taken the lid off the comments coming in under the chapters. Readers hate idiots. They absolutely despise incompetent morons, especially when it comes down to life-and-death situations.

Keep it in mind while you write your own novel.

Chapter 11

"Of course not; we humans are meant to stick together!" the man answered with an exaggerated belly-laugh, as he suddenly seemed to turn serious. "My and two other groups, much like yours, have decided to team up in order to get through this purgatory that refers to itself as a tutorial. Of course, we need all the people we can have, so we would love for you and your friends to join us."
Jake noticed how Jacob seemed to instantly catch on to how he used the term “team up.” It didn’t take a genius to see that only a single leader existed in the group in front of them. Richard might’ve claimed it was a team-up, but clearly, it was simply assimilation.

We finally meet one of the first villains. He’s a very stupid and small villain, but still one. What could have been subtly remarked about this man was that if the others had pushed themselves to hunt more, as suggested by Jake, they might have taken on this group and trashed them to bits.

Chapter 12

"Just know that her joining us is nonnegotiable. Not having a healer is just too risky in this place, and I have already lost too many good men and women unnecessarily. If you and your colleagues join us, you will be treated like everyone else. We will make hunting parties based on optimal setups, with the healer joining my own party, naturally. I can even promise that if you don’t wish to fight, we offer protection as long as you contribute in other ways. Just think it over carefully."Richard seemed to be done talking, as he gave them space once more. He had thrown the ball in their court, and now the question was just what to do…

Again, the big, bad, unfair villain.

Unfair situations are more unstable than quicksilver; however, they stoke the fires of Superimposition of Animus like no other narrative device. And Richard has some prime Young Master Energy in him.

Be careful, however, because if you push one too many times the unfairness button, readers will not react well to it.

Chapter 12

"And who might you be? Your level too, if you don’t mind?"Jake looked back at him with a small sigh of disappointment. It was not an act, either. He had genuinely hoped that the man was stronger. From what he had seen, level 10 seemed to be a power spike for monsters, and humans might experience something similar.
"Well, that’s slightly disappointing. I was hoping for you to be stronger," Jake said. "As for my name and level? I am Mr. Eat Shit, and I am level go-fuck-yourself."

[…]

Jake's smile widened. "The kind of issues where I get convenient prey served on a silver platter. Do you believe yourself superior? Do you think those three archers will land their shot before I remove your head? Do you think their arrows have any chance of hitting? Do you honestly think that you are the predator in this scenario?"

[…]

He smiled as he thought of his pursuers. They would arrive soon, he felt it. He started retracing his path for ten or so meters by stepping in his old footsteps, approaching a tree. He had purposely walked close to it on his way here for this reason, after all.

Jake is in control of this confrontational encounter. His arrogance and bravado make him more likable in the eyes of people who want to see just carnage. It should be noted that this is just a fraction of all your potential readers.

By chapter 12, I doubt many female readers kept reading. Chapter 12 is probably the epitome of masculinity as far as volume 1 of Primal Hunter goes; some would argue it’s toxic masculinity. Personally, I just think we men love to see main characters who raise their middle fingers to the world and then massacre their opposition.

How can you replicate it?

I mean, it’s mostly trash-talking and killing people. At its core, Primal Hunter uses simple tools that are far from complex narrative devices. And so, you could go for something similar. Imagine your character as Conor McGregor saying, ‘I am level go-fook-yourself.' Boastful remarks followed by general awesomeness are appreciated by most of the target audience of Royal Road and, especially, Kindle.

Closing thoughts on the Superimposition of Animus in Primal Hunter

Primal Hunter has many interesting characteristics that make it stand out among its competitors. In its first chapter, Paranoid Mage punches strong and hard. It's one swift move. It's like charging a battery in one swift burst of current. Primal Hunter, instead, is more of a trickle-charge. There's not one thing that we can point at. There are many small jabs that Zogarth uses to slowly superimpose the reader and Jake. It's slower and dirtier compared to the first chapter of Paranoid Mage but not much less effective.

It ropes you in with a mix of competence and pity for Jake. And, in my opinion, the book would have had less success without those elements. How much less success? I own no crystal ball, sadly.

I have already explained how to replicate it and what dangers are attached to trying to do so. I would probably complement learning from Primal Hunter’s Superimposition of Animus with learning from Against the Gods, Paranoid Mage, and Defiance of the Fall. The first has many young masters and troubles that stoke the fires inside the readers, the second has masterful management of the readers’ emotions, and the third has the general awesomeness that many readers look for when reading LitRPG.

Consistency

Thinking only in terms of the Superimposition of Animus would be tremendously stupid.

Why? Well, a web serial’s success comes from several different factors.

Releases

Edit 17/11/2022: Fellow author ThinkTwice told me that Zogarth apparently had a 160 chapters backlog. That would allow Zogarth to keep a consistent posting schedule even with his normal day job before reaching success. It’s a great strategy for any person who can’t be writing full-time, honestly. Thanks again to ThinkTwice for this precious golden nugget!

Very few novels can afford to release a few chapters and make a killing. And when they do, it’s always under extraordinary circumstances. Do you want to succeed? You’ll need to post 5-7 chapters a week before, during, and immediately after Rising Stars. That seems to be a general rule of thumb. Primal Hunter’s release rate has been incredible.

Primal Hunter came out on September 11th, 2020, and the latest release while I’m writing this article is November 11th, 2022, chapter 520. That’s 520 chapters in 782 days. That means that every three days for the past two years, Zogarth has consistently released two chapters on average.

I’ve often heard the following sentence, ‘you shouldn’t feel bad about not writing as much as the other authors.’ And I want to say, sure, don’t feel bad if you don’t want to make it your career. If you want to make it into writing, it’s going to be hard. Those numbers are insane. A chapter of Primal Hunter is, on average, 2.5-2.8k words. That’s around 1.5 million words in 782 days, an average of 1900 words per day.

Also, remind yourself that average means Zogarth probably writes much more than 2k words per day and then takes rest days. That’s how average works.

Content

This is an order of magnitude more important than Releases, and four orders of magnitude bigger than the Superimposition of Animus. Your novel could be the most boring piece of crap in the whole world, but if it’s consistent, you might still succeed.

Why?

Let’s examine two concepts.

First, I’d refer you to my article on The First Culprit for a Web Novel's Failure, a Lost Ethos. Then, I’ll pull a quote from it.

Let’s go into a metaphor to exemplify how changing the guiding principles of your novels is a terrible idea. And since we are talking about products, imagine that your local department store sold Toasters that stopped being toasters and started making orange juice after 180-days. It’s likely that someone felt very smart in their little corporate office because of this random choice, but isn’t it truly asinine? Maybe someone thought it was clever to have a transformative product - because they believe that any fresh overhaul is an improvement, the idiots - but why would a consumer want their toaster to become an orange juice extractor? And imagine your parents’ reaction if this product feature wasn’t even advertised and, one day, your father, tired from a long day of work, just looking forward to his very-deserved crunchy toast, finds orange juice spilling on the goddamn floor.

Second, Churn Rate, as described by Investopedia:

The churn rate, also known as the rate of attrition or customer churn, is the rate at which customers stop doing business with an entity. It is most commonly expressed as the percentage of service subscribers who discontinue their subscriptions within a given time period. It is also the rate at which employees leave their jobs within a certain period. For a company to expand its clientele, its growth rate (measured by the number of new customers) must exceed its churn rate.

These two things are intrinsically connected. I have an article on the way called, Most Web Serials Are Actually Failing. The core of it is that most people don’t realize they messed up the ethos of their novel and that they are on a parabolic line that is about to come down at some point.

Note: if you reach 20k and you slowly come down from there, you might be able to slow down your demise enough to still become filthy rich. That would be an exception to this rule.

But look at it from the other angle: when your novel consistently provides your readers with what it promised in its inception, you are minimizing your churn rate. Then, if you add good marketing on top of it, you have Beneath the Dragoneye Moons.

Primal Hunter, and I say this at risk of offending both its author and readers, even though that’s not my intent, has a lot of padding. And when I say padding, I mean there’s a lot of LitRPG’s numbers going BRRR. Between the fights, the alchemy in the first volume, and other things, Zogarth has slowed the pace of the novel A LOT.

Now, you might not realize it, but that’s a tremendously smart move.

Why?

Do you realize that, on average, most movies you watch and tv shows first seasons would barely fit the plot of Primal Hunter’s first twelve chapters? Yeah. That’s it. Primal Hunter has a lot of conflicts that don’t feel like a prologue as much as its own standalone book. But what does that mean for the narrative? Well, it means that if you accelerate things at the beginning at the same pace Zogarth did, you might have just fucked up your own novel. And not in the immediacy of it. It’s not an argument for the short term. It’s about the long term. You don’t want the parabola. You want a hyperbolic graph. Or a simple exponential growth.

Consistency in content delivery and composition will always decrease the churn rate. And I swear, I’m not a big fan of absolute statements. But in this case? Yeah. Keep your content heading in the same direction and, if you ever want to ‘evolve’ it, think ten times before doing it, and do it in the most diluted way possible.

That’s why I said before that Zogarth slowed the story down ‘artificially.’ It’s because, without LitRPG elements, you would have expected escalation upon escalation. Instead, Jake went his merry way to kill monsters and brew poisons. Zogarth earned himself a huge breathing room because of that. If the interactions with Humans had continued at the same pace, Jake would have probably murdered every single Human in the Tutorial by chapter 30.

A Powerful Legacy

Primal Hunter and He Who Fights with Monsters are partially children of Defiance of the Fall, and grandchildren of The Legend of Randidly Ghousthound and, less so, Azarinth Healer.

Open the first chapter of Defiance of the Fall and tell me that the negative emotions in that first chapter don’t feel like a prelude to Jake’s angsty character. Then, open He Who Fights with Monsters, and look at the voice and humor of Zack. Now, He Who Fights with Monsters is less intrinsically bound to Defiance of the Fall than Primal Hunter; however, you can still see how two novels that came out after Defiance of the Fall, a massive hit for Royal Road, and Randidly, who single-handedly kept Royal Road’s light on for years together with Azarinth Healer, expanded the big groove created by their predecessors.

Also, to clarify. When I say ‘legacy,’ I don’t imply a direct correlation between looking at DoF and then writing the other two novels. For all I know, the authors might have never read DoF before writing their stuff. What I mean is that there’s substantial continuity in what kind of novel succeeded during those years on Royal Road in terms of genre and tropes.

Closing thoughts on the Consistency in Primal Hunter

The LitRPG elements have carried a lot of the story to the end of volume 1. The PvE experience has been consistently the focus of the novel after chapter 12—and that’s what the readers apparently came for. Sure, killing a few people here is interesting, but what seemed to capture the audience was the survival skills Jake displayed.

Replicating this is different for each author. Depending on what ethos your novel contains, you might want to do different things.

Primal Hunter’s ethos has been: competent loner and the socially-awkward guy turns out to be good at archery and is the perfect specimen to survive this new apocalyptic world.

Arguably, the side-POVs that are present throughout volume 1 have contributed little to the success of the serial.

So, always ask yourself what the ethos of your novel is and follow it. Be careful, though, because sometimes your novel might have developed a different ethos from the one you intended, meaning now you have to adapt to it and follow it.

Projection

As per a previous article:

A projection is an element that includes foreshadowing of the future and, at the same time, lets the reader wildly fantasize about what is possible inside one’s novel.

Now, when I say ‘Projection,’ people might think about a gimmick. A gimmick is simply one element of a novel that stands out and, oftentimes, has large stretches of the plot about it.

Novels that are centered around a gimmick are, for example, Immortality Starts with Generosity and Ends of Magic. In those two cases, the gimmick is the story. While every single web serial I have read has some kind of gimmick, in some cases, it’s more and in others, less evident.

The Beginning After the End and Beneath the Dragoneye moons have the ‘reincarnated in a child’s body with previous knowledge’ gimmick exploited to different levels. However, while the gimmick there is the starting point, it’s hardly what the plot revolves around.

In Primal Hunter, the gimmick is Jake’s bloodline and, to a minor extent, his knowledge about archery. Do they move the story forward? A little, sure. But, most of all, they are organic components that let readers wonder how the author will explore those things. The alchemy, too, is a little gimmick-y.

Gimmick - Chapter 9

Bloodline analyzed.*Bloodline Awakened*: [Bloodline of the Primal Hunter (Bloodline Ability - Unique)] – Dormant power lies in the very essence of your being. A unique, innate ability awakened in the Bloodline of the newly initiated human, Jake Thayne. Enhances innate instincts. Enhances the ability to perceive your surroundings. Enhances Perception of danger. +5% to Perception.

A new skill had been unlocked—or was it an ability? He was clueless as to what the whole Bloodline business was about. His family background was nothing extraordinary, as average as one could be, and yet he apparently possessed an innate ability tied to it.

Part of why the gimmick is so important is the freshness that it gifts to the story. Some web serials don’t have tremendous writing or an enticing plot, but they have gimmicks so strong they can carry the story for dozens of chapters.

Here, Zogarth gave Jake the ability to perceive everything around his surroundings. At its simplest, now readers are marveling at what Jake might do with it. On a more complex level, this opens the readers to fantasize more about the story. There’s nothing extremely special tied to this ability, though.

So, let us skip ahead.

Projecting a Story

Primal Hunter does not have a powerful gimmick, but it has an interesting one. Archery, at the time Primal Hunter came out, was not somewhere you could find anywhere on Royal Road. And while Zogarth never goes into displaying much technical knowledge about it, the story ropes you in with every arrow Jake shoots at the monsters.

To be clear, Projection is not just about gimmicks. Projections encompass all the elements that, put together, mean that now readers are expecting a good story. When you subscribe to someone’s Patreon, it’s because you want to read what happens next. It’s not the story you are managing, it’s its expectations. At its extreme, you could be writing absolute dogshit and still rake in tons of money thanks to great expectations [and consistency 😉].

What are the elements that gifted these great expectations to Primal Hunter?

Well, first of all, LitRPG readers are here to see someone smash monsters to smithereens. Primal Hunter promises and delivers many times on that. Classes and Levels are well crafted, meaning you can expect a linear progression that doesn’t mess up. No hiccups in that regard. And that’s really what makes it great: no bumps on the road other than side POVs and some of the initial interactions.

The fact that he’s a lone murderhobo goes also in Jake’s favor. Many readers came to LitRPG for the numbers going BRRRR. While now some find it a bit redundant, a great majority of readers are still here for that aspect. And when the psychology of the main character complements the numbers, then it’s a match made in heaven.

The Three Things - Summary

Superimposition of Animus, Consistency, and Projection encompass almost every aspect that brings a novel to success. Sure, it still has to be written well, but as long as those three elements are well presented, it’s then assumed the narrative is working well.

Primal Hunter goes really strong on the Superimposition of Animus in the first twelve chapters. It doesn’t mean it’s not as strong in consistency, for example. But it does present a fairly unique case in the genre because angsty protagonists are not as revered as one might think. Jake’s competence acted as its counterweight, fortunately enough. Also, after the first twelve chapters, the negative aspects of the Superimposition of Animus slowly disappear to leave Jake hunting on his own.

Some would say that Primal Hunter succeeded despite its first twelve chapters. But would the LitRPG elements have been as interesting without the strong psychological start? No one can say for sure; my opinion is that, no, it wouldn’t have been as strong.

Paranoid Mage and Primal Hunter both were graced with explosive starts. Is it so weird to think that the beginning chapters were the reason for it? Plus, it doesn’t mean the ‘I’m going to massacre everyone’ aspect is not as important, but just that a massacre without a good Superimposition of Animus is not as effective.

Beyond the Three Things

If you just use the three variables I pointed out, it’s hard to encompass all elements that make a book successful. Recently, I read a comment about my article on Paranoid Mage saying:

The good writing style was the key. Despite the rather harsh reputation of RR, the usual writing quality here is decent at best. Anything that hits above that line automatically draws in attention of readers. Sure, the opening, premise, and fast pace played a large role too, but those things needs to be readable first.

Now, a good writing style does not necessarily mean you are going to make money. However, in most cases, a fitting writing style in the right genre will most likely make you money.

Are Chinese web novels well-written? No. Are they written in a style that fits the fast-paced narration? Yes. Now, please be patient because the ‘what does it mean to write well?’ is going to be a whole article on its own—wait and read that before attacking this notion right here.

The point is that Royal Road rewards stories with a fitting style. It’s more about all the pieces falling together well enough than having a tremendous structure. Primal Hunter does not have a good writing style—Primal Hunter has a fitting writing style. Is the author a master of English and narrative? No. And I mean no disrespect to him. You can go through the first twelve chapters yourself and be a judge of it.

What Zogarth is a master of is keeping the overall picture together while providing a fitting narrative. If the release pace, the consistency, or any other element had been missing from there, Zogarth would have hardly reached these heights.

And, beware, the spinning of a good narrative is part of good writing, but not everything there’s about good writing.

Conclusions

I have more words on Primal Hunter, but I recognize they might not be tolerated as simple additions to this already bloated article. I’ll publish them as separate posts.

What have we learned from Primal Hunter?

• Stay fresh: archery is relatively uncommon. Look at Blair—which also has the worlds colliding. When you go through the less-traveled road, you’ll find many gems along the way. Exploring concepts that are not as popular as the standard is a winner. Give your story a unique spin.

• Readers love competent people: readers want to see a trail of thoughts that is logical and consistent. Not every character has to be hyper-rational and/or a genius. However, consider giving your main character at least one domain where they absolutely excel compared to the rest of the world.

• Has eyes but can’t see mount Tai still got it: unfairness, when played properly, is a tremendous weapon. Work the Superimposition of Animus the right way and your narrative’s potential will skyrocket.

• Be careful of being too unfair: even when you want to put your character in harsh situations, be careful of always having him have something to fall back upon. Be it a secret weapon he’s developing, a heritage, something. Give your readers a reason to look forward to the chapter the bad bully is going to be slapped across the face—don’t give them the impression your MC is going to be bullied for the entire story.

• Numbers go BRRRRRR: LitRPG can be used to slow down the pace of your novel if you initially overplayed your hand. Personally, I’m not the greatest fan of numbers go brrrr, but most people love that extra crunchiness.

• Post consistently: one chapter a day keeps the brokenness away.

• Don’t change the core of your story: do not alter the premise that has roped your readers in.

• Manage power-ups and unfairness closely together: Jake gets more powerful as he’s going to face stronger foes. Give your main characters just enough power to face its next challenge. Every once in a while, you could have him lose the engagement as well.

• Look at the order of the scenes in your book and the overall chapter sequence: look at how a volume ends and how it begins. Ask yourself if you are going too fast or too slow. Start looking at things from above. Sometimes paragraphs will lie to you, and there’s no other solution than looking at whole chapters, if not the whole volume, to know the truth.

If you liked the article, you can freely subscribe to my newsletter, buy my latest book, or simply leave a comment telling me what you think and what you’d like the next article on!